tragicwaste ([info]tragicwaste) wrote,
@ 2006-04-18 22:41:00
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cause i'm missing you to death..
I still miss my grandmother so much..

It just hits me at the strangest times..

There's this song by Brand New off some demo album I downloaded.. I think I've listened to it at least 30 times since I downloaded it about 2 days ago.. It's the first song on my Myspace player right now.

"I am feeling like a veteran,
Uncompensated for the blood I've left to pool on foreign grounds.
And I, Sometimes reach to rub at aching legs,
But they've been dust for over a decade,
And you're the limb i've lost but somehow I still feel it...

Until I awake,
We just hope that you made it.
We hope that you're celebrating.,
With people you miss.
And burning like a beacon,
Guiding our ship around this hellish shoal.
I'm happy to admit that maybe I am a little depressed,
CAUSE I'M MISSING YOU TO DEATH.

And now, It's only records of my memory.
Some little thing you gave posthumously.
The details all dragged out."

I love those lyrics..

Music helps. It really does. Because it's never really let me down. It's never ditched me. Or said that it would call me and never did. Or made me feel worthless.

Because it's far too easy for people to hurt other people.

I hate depending on people. Because then it just hurts that much more when they're gone.

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[info]night_ninja
2006-04-20 08:39 pm UTC (link)
Hey, I found your journal randomly.... actually, while searching for lyrics for Konstantine... dunno why your page came up, but whatever.

Music can be one of the best tools for dealing with anything. Do you play any instruments or anything? I've found those help even more, especially when you're really depressed. Even if you can't really play anything, just trying to piece together things to makes something that /sounds/ like music can be relaxing.

Listening to music is great too, as you've found out. I used to lay in bed for an hour or so with Konstantine on repeat. Sometimes I'd fall asleep, but I'd wake up and feel so much better than I did before.

Think of death as just another part of life. I know that seems cliched, but it's really one of the best ways to deal with it. I've never had a family member die, but I've lost two friends, one who was fairly close to me, and one who committed suicide. I've been able to deal with it by thinking that they're somewhere better than here. And I'm not even that religious. Hardly at all, really. Celebrate what your grandmother brought to your life, don't mourn her death. She probably would like you to celebrate her life :)

Depending on other people is good and all...but you have to stand by yourself sometimes. I've learned that the hard way.

Hope *anything* I've said helps, even if it's in just a small way. If you wanna talk, just drop me a line on this account... otherwise, good luck with everything.

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[info]will9124
2006-09-25 05:04 pm UTC (link)
i found you're lj while searching for those lyrics too.
i was wandering which song it is..?
i'm having a blank moment...
and i know exactly how you feel I guess..
its all relevant..
x

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[info]decayinmywords
2007-03-10 05:57 am UTC (link)
BRAND NEW!!! i hate depending on people too. lets be friends.

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