tragicwaste ([info]tragicwaste) wrote,
@ 2006-03-24 17:53:00
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Current mood: depressed

did you know i miss you, god i miss you..
So, tomorrow will be the two week mark.

My grandmother has been gone for almost two weeks.

God, this is harder than I thought it was going to be.

Two weeks. It sounds like such a short period of time. It's felt so long though.

The first few days were spent in denial, I suppose. Even now it's just starting to really hit me. Coming home from school, she's not there. Leaving for work, she's still not there. One day I actually said bye grandma without even realizing it. I cried so much. I don't think a day's gone by that I haven't cried.

I miss her so much.

Sometimes I just sit there on the couch and imagine her sleeping in her chair. (I know, I'm strange.) I almost just want to talk out loud to her sometimes. God, I'm going crazy.

It's like a pain I can't even describe. And trying to describe it just makes it worse.


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[info]justme_jme
2006-03-25 10:15 am UTC (link)
I'm so sorry, sweetheart. Unfortunately, speaking from personal experience, it's going to get worse before it gets better. :( And you're always going to miss her. However, there will come a time when you aren't crying every day...I promise. Hang in there, call me if you ever need to talk/vent/go crazy. I love you! ~ Jaimie

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Loss and grief
(Anonymous)
2006-03-31 01:06 pm UTC (link)
Your not weird,strange or diffrent I went thru the same thing when my dad died. I still talk to him ya know it makes me feel better and believe it or not my mom has felt him more then once while driving to see the family on long trips. She swears up and down that he was right there in the passenger seat any time she was in a dangerous place,like driving down the mountain or heading to California to see my sister. It's normal to say good bye to a loved one no matter how long they have been gone so go easy on yourself in time it will get a tiny bit easier. The pain will never leave you I am afraid to say and it will hit you at the weirdest times. A sound sight smell all these things will trigger a loving yet painful memory. Cherish these moments for in remembering your grand mother you are just expressing your love for her even when you cry. If you want to chat just give me a holler sometime. Ethan

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(Anonymous)
2007-07-04 08:15 pm UTC (link)
I would have gotten out by 1980 (at the expense of my family) if they didn't slate me for this, set up Damien Omen, Quasi-Holocaust to justify it and the "ugly fall".
"You're going to regret this." If I didn't have my mind this isn't worth talking about, and I didn't have my mind from the start.
Damien Omen proves that. But they shared Damien Omen was justified in legacy from one of the sabotagers who came before.
I'm not going to have anything to do with any of this. And all those involved INCLUDING my family can take a goddamn flying fuck. I hope they offer them free cocaine and they're gone in a handful of decades.
The Situation was too fucking pitiful, and that hinged on their decision to repress my mind to ensure a poor event.
If I had my mind this thing would have been great. The gods are motherfucking control freaks, evident with the Italian boot.
More importantly they are CHEATERS, exhibit degenerate charecteristics and display no integrity.
Most importantly they positioned this so as few disfavored woudl be receptive as possible. The fact they set these "have-not" families up for their fall supports my accusations.

Important people in my life were born on traditional American holidays intentionally as a clue that people should be celebrating something besides the holiday society recognizes:::
- 4th of July
- Halloween

Quit affecting my mind you fuckng joke of a combatant.
And this is how history will judge you based on the one (of few) time(s) a man was willing to take on the gods.
You suck CHEATER.
The GreenBay/LakeMichigan clue is about me.
The gods hate the disfavored's guts and want you all to fail.

They wanted to create enough doubt in people's minds:::
1. Credibility
2. Unemployment
3. Heavily repressed learning curve
4. Artificial Intelligence-created thoughts and behavior
5. The gods manufactured the freedom to argue that Quasi-Holocaust was not a real Jewish clue specifically to create this doubt.
There are lots of other examples too. This is a way to minimize the help, maximize the "back-hand" (boss) and ensure few were receptive despite the god's pathological behavior spammed on the internet for the world to see.
They shared with me a number of "4.6%." This 4.6% may refer to my effectiveness or perhaps the overall save rate. If so expect the black save rate to be WELL under 1%.

The gods are preditory on children:::Orphanages.
Orphanages would be very special places if they still existed:::Specialists for the state would have instituted concrete, positive standards for the healthy rearing of children. These institutions would have been role models for poor parents, and they gods didin't want THE MOST healthy institutions in place for the most disfavored among us.
It would never have been tolerated.
So the gods instituted the foster care system, used these monsters they have on Earth, brain-less Clone host, to facilitate the switch/ridicule the old system. Now we have disfavored kids micromanaged as per each's disfavor level instead of them all placed in an orphange where the gods would have been forced to apply healthy state standars.
They won't tolerate reverse irony::::The most disfavored among us would be the ones with the best chance.
Of course most of the foster care kids were black.

The optimal ascention senario is when parents depart Earth with their young children BEFORE their minds are posioned by this society. The next best-case senario is when an individual finds the path themself and makes their way out before puberty.
Children who go up before puberty are candidates to remain the most superior of all life forms::The asexual. Expect these people to experience subsequent temptations once they arrive to further shrink the pool of candidates. Another example males are inferior to females::Expect circumcision to play a part in this elimination round.
I think these are the TRUE candidates for immortality. This is not to say there won't be sexualized people who make it, but those who do likely practice minimally and monogamously in the context of marriage, and that would exclude most if not all from modern society.
The sexualization of children is yet another example proving the gods are preditory on children::It eliminates these individuals from contention immediately.

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